Vegan Leather: Things I Want To Talk About

I’m taking a break from Blogtember to get my rant on. This is a story, a story about a subset of Vegetarians who have no idea what the hell their “cause” actually means. It’s also a call for action on the environment and making sound environmental choices.

You see, I love burger, I love steak, I love leather. I’m an empathetic omnivore who believes animals should be cared for a respected for what they are to the entire history of humanity: food and clothing. I believe the solution to the animal cruelty in the food industry is FORCING people to acknowledge where there food comes from, not preaching something contrary to human evolution. Sure,  you can sit here and tell me I’m a horrible person for eating meat and that I should go to hell or whatever, but let me educate you one something far more pressing than my leather skirt being made from the hide of a cow that would have been wasted otherwise:

 Vegan leather is bullshit.


Pimperlime "Vegan" (PLEATHER) Skirt

Pimperlime “Vegan” (PLEATHER) Skirt – $80 worth of “50% polyethylene, 50% rayon”


“Vegan” leather is p-leather, and for those of you too young to know what p-leather it’s plastic synthetic leather. Here is a lovely Wikipedia entry on the topic of synthetic leathers, keep in mind that the big three listed on this page; poromeric synthetic leather, Koskin and Leatherette are the ones predominately used in day to day life. They ALL have their base in same oil we get our gasoline from. That’s right, “vegan” leather is not vegan at all.

Because what make fossil oil? According to another fine Wikipedia entry and every Science text-book ever, “Fossil fuels are fuels formed by natural processes such as anaerobic decomposition of buried dead organisms.” For the sake of simplicity just read, “buried dead organisms” as dead dinosaurs, or dead animals.

Now I am working with the commonly accepted and widely know definition of veganism, not some pretentious subset of the subset. For the sake of my argument that definition is: “Veganism is the practice of abstaining from the use of animal products, particularly in diet, as well as following an associated philosophy that rejects the commodity status of sentient animals.” You see, p-leather, (I’m done offending vegetarianism by calling this shit ‘vegan’,) is not vegan at all. It is the commodity use of what was once a sentient animal. Now, you can argue they’re “already dead” all you want, but in that case, I get to argue that my very nice, tasteful bull-hide leather skirt is acceptable by that argument as well.

People will always eat cow, until something better comes along, at the very least the use of their hide to make my skirt isn’t destroying the environment.

The extraction process of petroleum alone does way more to damage the environment and subsequently the animals that live on this planet than the use of resources we already have. That alone is enough to make the whole concept a complete waste of breath that only the height of pretentiousness clings to.

But Tiffany, I am not okay with the way animals are treated in factory farms!

Neither am I, however this problem has nothing to do with whether it’s right or wrong to engage in one of the primary instinctive processes that has put us at the top of the food chain. The problem is that instead of forcing spoilt Americans to acknowledge that their food comes from these horrible places where thousands of cows are crammed into tiny space and fattened up just to be killed for some idiot’s game day fiesta is wrong. I can pretty much guarantee that if we start educating high school students about where food actually comes from and the processes involved in getting it from the farm to their table, you will see a shift in policy in this country. Yes, some people won’t give a fuck, because some people are sociopaths. But you force everyone to watch how a chicken gets slaughtered and I guarantee you it teaches them humility towards their species.

Now I’m not going all PETA here, I despise PETA will a fiery passion. (There is an episode of Pen & Tellers BullSh!T  I highly recommend on that cult.) Because I don’t believe in making people into feeling bad about something that is an evolutionary fact. We are omnivores; we will eat damn near anything, that’s how we survive. Vegetarianism is a noble cause I completely support but I myself do not participate in. Veganism takes either the dietary necessity of or the conscious choice of Vegetarianism and turns it on its head and perverts it into this cult mentality that takes people’s raw emotions and preys on them.

It is logically impossible to argue that all the damage done producing inorganic goods is somehow ethically and morally superior to using the renewable viable sources we have available to us. Most futile attempts at these arguments boil down to the simple fact that people don’t like the way animals are treated in our current corporate farming system. One picture of baby pigs in tiny pens is enough to make anyone with a soul sick, but the solution will never be found in extreme ideology. Good hearted people are being fed lines of bullshit by industries  to make them feel better. If you want to change the system you must see beyond it. Buying a p-leather skirt isn’t helping anyone but the very people who truly don’t care about our planet. Educate yourself before falling in-line with extremists. The illusion of passion is a tool weak minds use to control those who are swayed by passion.

Don’t let someone’s passion sway you without first educating yourself, and don’t buy a p-leather skirt and turn around and call me a baby cow killer for my actual leather skirt. I can rattle of a list of species which have been driven to extinction or near extinction to create the plastic crap in that skirt. I sleep well knowing a cow died and became my boots. My boots are fabulous and will last me years. The materials used to create my boots are not the source of major war and socio-economic strife all over this planet.

So please, don’t buy a bullshit skirt. Invest in the future by educating yourself and caring about the world around you. Not just a message you’re being fed by the loons among the ranks of PETA. Every decision you make in life, even in fashion effects the world around you. Choose wisely padawan.




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